Public Speaking Information - Fear Phobia Public Speaking Section

Are you allowing your fear of public speaking to hold you back from what you really want? Don't allow fear to control you. Learn from my experience of facing fear head on.

1- Make the decision to face your fear head on with courage and grace. Taking on your fear by itself is beautiful, admirable, and will make you feel good about you.

2- Set a time period to focus on this challenge. This is not a one time try it and see if you like it. It is a process. I chose one year. Is my fear gone? Not completely, and I made so much progress that I am excited about where this will lead. Setting the time period will focus you on the process and not one particular event. During the process you will gain experience, knowledge, and confidence.

3- Get support. Join a group such as Toastmasters (www.toastmasters.com) or develop your own support group of friends, associates, and family to back you. Set it up the way it makes you feel comfortable. Some may want a group of friends at an event to support them. I preferred just having one. You may want to practice on someone. These people will support you to help you gain confidence.

4- Go into it with no expectations. Simply having the guts to try is an honor in itself. When there are no expectations you are setting the stage for success. You have nothing to worry about. You do not have to be brilliant. For the first year my goal for each talk was to have one person walk away with something that would add value to their life. This year it will be two...even though the feedback shows I have reached many more than that. No expectations reduces your stress level.

5- Keep it simple. Choose a topic that you are very comfortable with. Keeping the amount of time in mind choose only one to three key points that you believe will add value to your audience. The audience will consist of people who have different learning styles...visual, auditory, or kinesthetic. It is helpful to keep all three in mind while preparing. A handout or vivid story may benefit the visual learner while an interactive exercise may intrigue the kinesthetic learner. Using stories and interactive exercises gets the audience involved and keeps it easy on you. They are not looking for or expecting perfection. They simply want something of value to take home with them...a good feeling, a helpful tip, the inspiration to do something new, or just to be able to say they had a great evening out.

6- Prepare, prepare, prepare. When I really looked into my fear I found that in the past I had never taken the time to be well prepared. I do not mean memorize. Prepare to a point where you feel ready.

7- Choose a montra such as “I will grow from this experience and love myself no matter what.” Just a reminder that no event can be so big as to destroy you. If you mess up...big deal! What if a toddler after his first fall said “that’s it...I’m never going to walk.” What do we tell frustrated kids when they are learning to read and say “I’ll never be able to read!”? We tell them “Yes you will...keep practicing...you’ll get it.” They do. We can learn a lot from watching kids face their fears one after another and succeed.

8- Maintain a positive attitude and stifle your inner critic. When you notice your inner critic taking over shift your attitude to something positive. Visualize yourself succeeding. Confidently tell yourself you can do it...even if you have doubt. Focus on how awesome you will feel when it is over and you have faced your fear. If you are a spiritual person prayer works wonders. Do whatever it takes to encourage and coach yourself to success.

9- Meet the audience. They really want to support you. Plan to get to the event a little bit early (not too early) in order to get a feel for where you will be and the events leading up to your talk. I like to go around and meet the audience. You quickly realize that they are not big ogres... just real people.

10- Breathe. Whenever the butterflies are getting the best of you remember to breathe. Take slow deep breathes in through the nose from the diaphragm and out through your mouth. Relax into it.

11- Use your nervous energy. When you are introduced use your nervous energy to get you started. Walk up with excitement, stand tall, and speak out with confidence.

12- Be yourself. Don’t try to mimic someone else. Be human. For those of you who remember Johnny Carson’s monologues, he was the best at using a bad joke to his advantage. Many of the comedians today follow his lead. Oprah’s tremendous success has been in part to her ability to relate to the audience by showing her humanness and putting her own challenges and struggles out there. How many people would feel comfortable having a multi-millionaire as influential as Oprah come to their home? Yet I get the impression that most of Oprah’s audience would feel right at home having Oprah over for tea.

13- Focus on the task at hand and not the reaction of the audience. Follow your plan. Do it your way and not as a reaction to others. As you gain experience you can become more flexible. In the beginning, stick to your plan and learn from the experience. Keep in mind that the one person that you think dislikes you the most may be the one listening most intensely and gaining the most from your talk.

14- Distribute comment cards and collect them right away. Ask for honest feedback on the comment cards and accept them with an open mind. This is a great way to have people sign up for your newsletter or to receive more information from you. When you make it a safe place for them to share their information you will receive more cards. You can have a drawing for a free gift to encourage more to participate. In any event, the comment cards are a wonderful tool for you and the positive comments increase your confidence.

15- Celebrate! Celebrate that you faced your fear with grace and courage. Honor yourself for that.

If you have read this far than you are ready to face your fear, otherwise I am lucky and totally grateful to have held your attention this long. Get out of paralysis by taking the first step. As you gain experience you will improve and gain confidence. You can do it! Pave your way one step at a time and you will gain the power to take back control of your life and to achieve all that you want to be.

Please send your comments and tell me what you want to read. l would love to hear from you! Copyright 2003, Beth A. Tabak, All rights reserved.

About the Author

Beth Tabak is a Professional Life Coach and owner of Starting Now. She coaches business professionals and those who want to make big changes to upgrade their business while upgrading their life. Prioritize, systemize, stay focused, and take action. Working with a coach adds support and accountability for greater success. E-mail to set up a free “Try It Out” session and have your questions answered. To learn more visit html" target="_blank">www.cvreferral.com/2/101475.html or e-mail startingnow@houston.rr.com.